Crafts: Secrets Of Papier Mache!!!

It was promised! The secrets of my trade, available for the entire world to use, therefore rendering me useless...
THE SECRET BREW!!!
Paper mache, also spelled papier mache, with various accent marks, is tricky stuff. Not really, actually, a child can do it. Grab yourself some sort of bowl or tupperware or something, big enough to rest a cantaloupe in. This is your BREW BOWL!!!
Next, you need these basic ingredients:
- water
- some sort of wallpaper paste
- elmers/white glue
- flour
- dish/laundry soap
I stopped measuring some time ago, and usually rely on instinct, but try this: pour two cups of water into your brew bowl, and about 2-3 palm-fulls of wallpaper paste (I'm currently using a crusty old box of a brand called modocoil), a very healthy squirt of elmers/white/wood glue, about 1-1.5 cups of flour. Quickly, now! Mix it all up with a whisk or hefty stick, or some effective stirring device. It must be well mixed for it to work well. Mix it poorly and you'll have a brew bowl full of...mess.
Now, you've got it well mixed? Test it! Stick your hand in (don't bother with gloves, this stuff is harmless but gunky, and doesn't stain) and see how it runs off your finger. It should roll and drip, not as thick as honey but not as thin as milk. If if feels really runny, and you've followed the instructions, let your brew bowl sit for about 8-15 minutes and come back. You should have something then...
Also, make sure you periodically mix up your brew while you're working, just mix it well with your hand. It tends to gloopify and collect on the bottom. If it gets really slimy, add more water (not a lot, just enough to thin it out)
Paper: you can use newspaper, whatever you like. I use printer paper, just white clean and fairly strong paper.
Tear your paper into strips and apply. I really can't describe method, I'm not selling a book here, but you will figure out a method (hopefully) which works well for you.
Base: you want some sort of frame for under your paper, be it styrofoam, cardboard boxes, wire (not recommended) or whatever. Later, you may learn how to implement objects, like the skull on my skull island map, into your piece. Not too tricky, but you'll want to start simple and artsy your way up.
Drying: I usually start in the morning, applying multiple coats in one sitting, then kick back, sip a margarita, read some groo, and then go back and put on another coat before nightfall. You'll want to wait until it's reasonably dry after your first coat before continuing. Don't worry if it takes a long time to dry. I usually set it up in the garage, where it's warm and dry. Let it sit overnight and you can go right ahead on the next day.
Soap: soap? wha? that's right, your solution is going to get a bit ripe. It's like brewing your own booze, but our brew isn't edible. At least, I wouldn't recommend it. If your brew starts to stink (and it will!) just put a squirt or two of your favorite smelling high-strength soap into the solution. It will get right rid of that stink (hopefully). Don't put in too much, because it might ruin the sticking ability of your mix.
Notes: I noticed that after a really long time of not cleaning my brew bowl very well, wierd transparent gel-lumps that look like ice-cubes started to appear in the mix. Freaky, but apparently unimportant. It's just bacteria, telling you in a not-so-subtle way that you need to clean your brew bowl. It happens in pools, too. Also, when done working but want to use remnants of brew next time, pour in some fresh water and cover it your brew bowl with plastic wrap.

Okay! Painting: it's all skill, I can't help you. Design: it's all creativity, I can't help you (unless you hire me to make you something...)
Frustrated or confused? Your local library or your kids teacher will know about paper mache, but you can also ask me! I'm no expert, but I've learned quite a bit and am quite willing to help. Looked at all this and have no interest in getting your hands dirty? Tell me what you want!
Questions, comments, etc...
lizardpudding@hotmail.com